Esther McCarthy: Rudeness requires a rapid-fire retort — and sometimes, a little kindness

"A long, long time ago, I used to be pretty good at witty retorts and sassy comebacks if someone was being a jerk. Alas, age, hormones, and the realisation that the effort of the perfectly-timed bon mot is mostly wasted on morons have dulled my fervour for backchat."